Last night I checked out the opening for the 4th annual juried miniature show, at The Art Exchange, which I had some work in. I really didn't really feel like going out... don't really feel like doing much of anything this past week. i've been re-evaluating things one by one. Figuring out what happenings I will and will no longer tolerate in my life. But I've been trying to make the effort to do the really important things, and going seams like it should be on my to-do list.
I survived for the most part. Got quizzed about artists that majorly influence my work, but I can rarely ever name any on the spot. Last night was a bit more of an embraressing train-wreck than normally - appearently being an anti-social introvert also inhibits my abilities to dodge such questions in clever but incredibly generalized manners. As much as I like to go out to openings and to galleries to see work, and can remember images of work in my mind, I still have to keep a binder in my studio, filled with show cards and business cards of the people I've been exposed to, and the places I've been. Sometimes it even takes google. I've never been much for remembering names or dates or places though... and it always destroyed me in school. Its been no different at this point in life. And lately when it comes to the content of my work, and the influences come mostly from natural history museums, x-rays, photographs in science books, data, even mathematical squares and patterns.
I think this is why I just no longer like my own openings!
Either way, I'm back at the studio today. And I plan on working on something a little bit later. I kind of want to go to the library again, return some books (natural history) and sign out some more (also natural history). I was talking to someone, about how painting just really isn't working out, and that should just give up and do drawings in coffee shops until spring.
I think I might actually do this.
Avoiding everything and being oddly removed from the rest of the world makes me the not most exciting thing to be around. Despite everything, I've been plodding through the code of the website, and trudging away at the studio. And maybe after a few more years of trudging, I'll actually be somewhere.
I was questioned the other day why I force myself to work through times when I'm so uninspired and withdrawn. Something about not forcing it. I don't know. I really don't know what else I'd do with my time. I think working has always been a way to let myself stay at least some-what afloat, and lets me remain feeling like I'm at least getting somewhere for myself, even if it's the most illogical and impractical place possible.
It's a good time to figure out what is and isn't important.
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