Step 1: Remove all library books and other borrowed items from work surface (note: recent casualties)
Step 3: Locate suitable surface to roll paint onto (plexiglass pallets are good) and clean said surface with babywipes. Accept that it will never totally come clean, and give up, thus moving to step 4
Step 8: Stop when areas have ideal coverage and painting seams more interesting (for the time being at least)
Step 10 is being satisfied that painting can be a bit more interesting without always relying on the use of brushes, and that you've kinda been a complete lazy ass while doing it.
Next up: free pool and dinner as reward. I am a great white.